DHilquist: I'm feeling spring in the air and flutters in my heart on this Valentine's Day.
CJ Ellen: Donna, today is my birthday :)
DHilquist: Well, happy birthday, CJ.
CJ Ellen: I love love :) Thank you.
DHilquist: You should with a birthday on the most romantic day of the year.:-}
CJ Ellen: I'm looking forward to hearing all about your romance, Donna.
DHilquist: I know, I can hardly wait to talk about it. <giggle>
CJ Ellen: The problem is people give me those Valentine birthday cards. I only get one, not two. ::pout::
DHilquist: You should tell all your friends that.
CJ Ellen: Dunno if it would matter. I have thrifty friends. :)
DHilquist: There's just double amounts of love in your cards, then.
CJ Ellen: Donna, what a nice thing to say.:)
CJ Ellen: Here's Montana Tom.
DHilquist: And Montana Tom has entered the room.
CJ Ellen: I didn't say hello to the good Doctor. Hiya Doc!
DHilquist: Hello Montana Tom.
WR Arriola: Howdy howdy hey everyone.
WR Arriola: Is it almost time for the bi event?
Doctor Mix: Hi, CJ. Glad to be here. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy this show!
DHilquist: We're all excited about it Montana Tom!!
WR Arriola: Bi is big...nothing nasty.
DHilquist: Nothing nasty taken, Montana Tom.
CJ Ellen: Say, aren't you the guy they called Montana "Typo" Tom? ::ducking::
WR Arriola: Can anyone tell me the time? Union rules say we start at the top of the hour.
CJ Ellen: It *is* time to start. Shall we?
DHilquist: Let's.
WR Arriola: Zowie. CJ is hot tonite with the zings.
CJ Ellen: :) It's all the sugar on my birthday cake.
WR Arriola: Ok. Welcome to Ferndale2nite. I'm Montana Tom here with my hostess and sidekick. You may know her as Donna.
DHilquist: Donna Hilquist is the name and Love is the game. Hello Montana Tom!
WR Arriola: She is the Ferndale love goddess.
DHilquist: May I say something, Tom? It is so wonderful being here as your sidekick. I'm just so excited, I could burst.
WR Arriola: Anything else? We're going to talk about forbidden romance tonite.
DHilquist: I wouldn't say "goddess" of love, but thank you. <blushing>
WR Arriola: Forbidden chat romance is the topic
DHilquist: Yes it is!
WR Arriola: We're looking at chat dating tips.
DHilquist: Yes we are!
WR Arriola: How to meet a mate on chat. How to say the right thing. Who to say it to.
DHilquist: How to trap a chap on chat.
WR Arriola: Where the wild chat areas are.
CJ Ellen: Wow, glad I'm logging all this. :)
WR Arriola: We'll break for suggestions from the audience.
DHilquist: What to do once you find that special someone.
WR Arriola: We want your chat dating tips.
DHilquist: Anyone in the audience want to share your cyber dating adventures?
WR Arriola: CJ Ellen may be asked to intervene if things get tooooooo racy, but we can only hope...
DHilquist: of course...
WR Arriola: Yes any cyber dating adventures. Later in the session we'll intro you to a couple that met on a chat session.
DHilquist: We could start with a lovely story, Montana Tom?
WR Arriola: I'd love to hear your story. But I'm not sure the audience cares.
DHilquist: A lovely couple, they are, too. I have a friend that I met on chat who is infatuated with a fellow "chatter".
WR Arriola: Donna, want to tell your story? Oooooooh, sexy. More.
DHilquist: After talking in the chat rooms for 2 months, they finally realized that they worked in the same building.
WR Arriola: <Montana Tom gets comfy> Fate.
DHilquist: They have had one lunch date and so far so good. <smiling>
WR Arriola: <sexy.
DHilquist: Fate with a mate.
WR Arriola: <romance>
DHilquist: <love>
CJ Ellen: Fate with a mate on a date?
WR Arriola: Wait
DHilquist: Exactly CJ.
CJ Ellen: Too late?
DHilquist: He is a bit nervous because he didn't know how to go about it at first.
WR Arriola: Late--date--mate--too late---Robert Frost is rolling over.
DHilquist: My friend would have loved to hear cyber "dating" tips.
WR Arriola: How did he finally get things going? Or did they drift apart?
DHilquist: Well...
WR Arriola: Yes? <Montana eagerly awaits more story.>
DHilquist: After they discovered their working proximity, they just went for it. They had latte's at a downtown coffee shop. Does anyone in the audience have a similar experience?
WR Arriola: Excuse me, but how does this relate to our online wedding?
DHilquist: <waiting>
DHilquist: <wondering>
WR Arriola: <waiting>
CJ Ellen: ::checking::
WR Arriola: countdown 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9...?
CJ Ellen: No comments yet, Donna. Tell more of the story.
WR Arriola: I have a cyber dating tip.
DHilquist: Well, alright. Tell us, Montana. We're eager to see how a talk show personality handles love in the 90's.
WR Arriola: One way to tell if you've met a good person is to check their e-mail address.
DHilquist: What does that tell you?
WR Arriola: People on the Internet say a lot in an address. Well, if my address is toma@ukc.edu, I'm a student at Kansas State University.
CJ Ellen: We have a question for Donna.
DHilquist: Oh goody. Go.
WR Arriola: If my address is toma@folsom.jail, I'm probably not right for you.
DHilquist: You're in jail...Ohhhh, bad sign in a date.
WR Arriola: NONONO. I'm not in jail. Your potential mate is.
DHilquist: I know you're not, Montana Tom. You're so cute.
WR Arriola: Speaking of jail, where's your boyfriend, Donna?
CJ Ellen: Tom's in jail? They let him have a computer there?
DHilquist: C.J. I am ready for my question. My boyfriend is just fine. He's very near to me.
CJ Ellen: Donna, Athenee needs your advice:
Question: Donna, is it a good idea to "Go private" on a first date?
WR Arriola: As usual, mayhem rules. CJ, any questions for our lady Donna?
WR Arriola: <sexy.
DHilquist: Well, Athenee, cyber sex is safe sex, but how will you feel in the morning? There are more ways than one to feel "icky" the morning after. You might encounter some feelings of confusion
WR Arriola: I think she should go private on the 1st date, no heavy petting tho.
DHilquist: Go private? Montana Tom? Are you sure? Would you like a woman to "Go Private" with you on a first date?
WR Arriola: Athenee, go private, but don't let him log you. That's why Phil Gramm is dropping out of the pres race. I wouldn't marry anyone that went private that early, but who's looking to marry?
DHilquist: Athenee, flirting is easy to do on the Net...but often leads to other, you know, things.
WR Arriola: Other things? Tell me more.
DHilquist: Cyberspace is a place to lose yourself. But you must be careful not to lose your real self.
WR Arriola: More from Athenee?
CJ Ellen: We have another question for Donna from Athenee.
Question: Donna, now he wants a picture of me. Naked. What should I do? I don't know the difference between a jpeg and a gif.
DHilquist: O.K. I'm ready as a pig in a roaster.
WR Arriola: I'm as ready as a hooker on payday
DHilquist: Well honey, if you don't know the difference between a jpeg and a gif, it's best to keep your initials in your britches, if you know what I mean...
WR Arriola: Get a naked picture of some model...thats what I would do.
DHilquist: There's an idea, Montana Tom.
WR Arriola: Anyone wanna see my pict? Pict is a graphic format...nothing dirty, I think
CJ Ellen: Montana Tom, I think we'd look at anything you care to show us.
DHilquist: I'd love to. I bet you're as cute as a bug's ear. <wink> C.J.?
WR Arriola: <blush>
CJ Ellen: Yes, Donna? BTW, you can call me Ellen. CJ is just a title.
DHilquist: I would like to point out to the audience that Montana Tom and I are now
CJ Ellen: Donna, it's ok if I flirt with Tom, isn't it?
DHilquist: engaged in the flirting process...
CJ Ellen: Uhoh...
WR Arriola: I'd like to get on to our guests. Our first guest is Donna's boyfriend. Donna, where's Roach.
DHilquist: Yes, it is Ellen, go ahead, flirt .
CJ Ellen: Sorry. ::sitting on fingers::
DHilquist: It's fun, it's easy, it makes you feel like a youngster in the tenth grade.
WR Arriola: Flirting with Montana Tom is expected and welcome, specially from a lady like CJ.
DHilquist: Are you Bob Barker of the Internet?
WR Arriola: Don't ask, don't tell. Besides I'm not a geezer.
DHilquist: Roach should be here, but he's not. I could go find him for you.
WR Arriola: Donna, where is your man? Why no Roach tonite? He is in the Ferndale chat room, refuses to come onstage. What's up?
DHilquist: Montana Tom, Roach is back stage.
WR Arriola: You two met on the Net via the Internet experiment.
DHilquist: Well, sort of. We met at this Net-therapy experiment.
WR Arriola: He won't come on. What type of pressure is he feeling?
DHilquist: He's a little shy, but it's cute.
WR Arriola: Tell us about Roach.
DHilquist: Where do I start? <blushing> I know, I'll talk about that little mole on his cheek. His face cheek, that is...
WR Arriola: After Roach, we'll hear from Tina and Tim. Then if there is time, we'll bring on the inventor of the thigh master and mood ring,
DHilquist: Oh, the thigh master, how exciting.
WR Arriola : Cheeky, eh? Sorry to interrupt. Tell us about your studmaster.
DHilquist: Yes, his cheek. Studmaster, I like that.
WR Arriola: You would.
CJ Ellen: Sounds like something you'd use to decorate sweaters.
DHilquist: His face crinkles when he smiles. Letting me see all the roads he's been on right on his face.
DHilquist : Tina is here. :-}
WR Arriola: Tina is here. Hurry with the story. I hear wedding bells.
DHilquist: I'm so excited about this Tom and Ellen. We met. It was magic and I can't wait to ride that Harley. Bring her on. Let's talk about Cyber Love. Hello Tina.
TinaXXX107: Hi Donna.
DHilquist: It's certainly nice to see you here in your wedding dress. <admiring>
TinaXXX107: <<Blushing>>>thank you
DHilquist: Did you use a "studmaster" for those little pearls?
WR Arriola: Hello Tina, where is your man?
TinaXXX107: I hope he hasn't left me at the altar.
DHilquist: Yes, where is Tim? Must be nervous.
TinaXXX107: Yes, he is very shy.
DHilquist: He's fine, I'm sure. Don't you worry about a thing.
TinaXXX107: That's one quality I like most about him.
DHilquist: Tina, tell us why you love Tim. What made you think....hmmmmm...this one I like!
TinaXXX107: He's very smart. When he described himself in our chat room, Buxom Babes, he sounded really gorgeous.
WR Arriola: Smart on chat? Does that mean he uses big words?? I happen to spend alot of time in Buxom.
DHilquist: Good question.
TinaXXX107: Yes, words like Buxom.
WR Arriola: You ever met Biguns22?
TinaXXX107 : :-)
DHilquist: Sounded gorgeous? Tell how you can sound gorgeous over the Net. Now, Montana.....
WR Arriola: Or her sister Biguns44? Or their friends Bcup44 and Ccup44?
TinaXXX107: Nope, never had the pleasure of meeting Biguns. Well, he said that he has short brown hair and green eyes and works out a lot.
DHilquist: How did you know he wasn't foolin'?
WR Arriola: Are you sure, did he send a pict?
DHilquist: Good question, once again, Montana Tom.
TinaXXX107: I just know. No, no pic. It's not necessary.
DHilquist: You had faith in your love, Tina? Faith in your cyber attraction?
TinaXXX107: I totally believe him. Well, I'll get to see him soon, on our honeymoon.
DHilquist: Ohhh, la la. Are you really excited?
TinaXXX107: Yes, we're going to meet in Hawaii. He has some Frequent Flyer Miles. Oh, so very excited
DHilquist: Oh, he travels, too?
TinaXXX107: Well, with the company.
DHilquist: Oh, a professional man, too?
TinaXXX107: Yes, he is a computer....person.
DHilquist: I could tell you loved each other when I saw you in the chat room. The way you paused and used your brackets. It was beautiful.
TinaXXX107: Yes and by the way, thanks for all of your help.
DHilquist: You don't even have to mention it. Thank you for letting me help
TinaXXX107: <<.....small smile>>>
WR Arriola : Tina: Earlier we talked about dating tips online. CJ and I both need help. Any tips?
DHilquist: Ready for Tim! Send him in!
TinaXXX107: Oh, yes. Oh, timothy!
DHilquist: Oh good what are they?
WR Arriola: Oooooh Tim, we've been talking about you.
DHilquist: Tim, you randy fellow, you.
TinaXXX107: <<blushes>>
DHilquist: Welcome to Tim, everyone.
Timothy918: Hello, everyone! Hello Tina, my love.
DHilquist: Hello Tim, are you ready and excited?
Timothy918: }:> Very ready, very excited.
WR Arriola: I'm excited> Online vows. An AOL 1st...history...romance
TinaXXX107: <<kicks up the dust>><<bashful>>
DHilquist: Oh, feeling like a little devil huh? A real cyber marriage.
WR Arriola: Romance
Timothy918: <<Taking Tina's hand>>
DHilquist: Romance. History.
Timothy918: You look beautiful, Tina..
WR Arriola: <<<I am very aroused>>
RevHansen: Hello to all!!
DHilquist: Montana, remember the big skies of your home. Hello Reverend. Welcome.
Timothy918: Arriola, I am a lucky man, am I not?
WR Arriola Tim, you are a prince.
RevHansen: Thank you Donna.
DHilquist: <fixing Tina's veil>
WR Arriola: Tim, you don't know Biguns44, from the Buxom chat room?
DHilquist: <wiping tears from Tina's eyes> You'll be fine, Tina.
WR Arriola: I think we should get started.
DHilquist: <holding Tina's hand> Do you have the ring?
WR Arriola: Rev., take it away.
Timothy918: This is a case in which I, the groom, really HASN'T seen the bride before the wedding, but I know this is real.
DHilquist: Let's get started.
RevHansen: Where is the blushing bride?
WR Arriola: Oops, Tina went away, cold feet?
DHilquist: You haven't, have you? Well I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
WR Arriola: She is messaging me.
DHilquist: Tina must have pre-wedding tinkle jitters.
Timothy918: <<confused>> Where is she?
WR Arriola: Sez, someone is warning her about Tim. Strange e-mail.
DHilquist: It's o.k., Tim,
Timothy918: Warning her??
WR Arriola: She is making a call.
DHilquist: Who? What?
WR Arriola : I dunno Tim. She loves you, man.
DHilquist: She adores you Tim. Wants to have your cyber babies. You dunno, you mean?
Timothy918: I hope so....<sigh> I came here to get married...
WR Arriola: Look, I'm missing several fingers...don't tease.
DHilquist: And you will. So sorry.....Montana. was not aware.
WR Arriola: Tim, Donna interested, maybe CJ too, want to show them your cyber moves?
DHilquist: Tim, why don't you tell us what makes you a good catch on the net.
CJ Ellen: ::perking up::
Timothy918: Montana Tom, what is going to happen now? Is she coming back?!
DHilquist: Don't worry, Tim, she's coming...
RevHansen: I'll talk to her for you Tim. I will help her get past her doubts.
WR Arriola: Shes coming....sure...sure. Show us your moves, Tim. What would you say to Donna in the Buxom room?
Timothy918: Well, I am basically an honest man. I never Instant Message a lady simply on the basis of her sex, like many men online do.
DHilquist: How gallant of you. Like a southern gentlemen.
Timothy918: I listened to Tina talking in a chat room, lurking, as they call it...
WR Arriola: On what basis do you come on to a lady?
DHilquist: Work your miracles, Rev.
WR Arriola: lurker=pervert
Timothy918: I felt she was very genuine
DHilquist: Yes, do tell. She was honest with you? Genuine? Conscious? Was it love at first type?
Timothy918: Very much so, DHilquist. I knew she was the one for me.
DHilquist: You can call me Donna, Tim
WR Arriola: Hahahahah Donna!
DHilquist: <wink at Montana Tom> Timothy, have you been married before?
Timothy918: Hey, this is very serious to me, folks. Maybe I'm too romantic.
WR Arriola: You are a romancer, Tim.
DHilquist: Yes, perhaps something terrible has happened with the snap closure on her dress. It was tricky, she said.
RevHansen: I feel that many people can find true love in a chat room.
Timothy918: I've had women dump me before, but I don't think it will happen this time.
DHilquist: You do, Rev. How?
RevHansen: Love based on feelings for one another. That is what God wants for us all.
DHilquist: <whisper to Tim> don't you worry, honey. She's not stupid.
WR Arriola: You know, I'm a bit attracted to both Donna and CJ. Any takers on a cyber wedding?
DHilquist: That's very interesting, Reverend.
Timothy918: Thanks, DH, I appreciate the encouragement.
DHilquist: I'm sorry Montana Tom, I'm taken by two too many.
CJ Ellen: I'm already married, Montana Tom.
RevHansen: Love thy cyber neighbor
Timothy918: The Reverend is right, Montana Tom. You can find true love online.
I am living proof.
DHilquist: Love thy cyberself.
WR Arriola: I'm married twice on AOL and three times in Vegas.
DHilquist: Oh, you are a foxy devil, aren't you, Montana Tom? I will call you Bob Barker from now on. <wink>.
RevHansen: The church does not condone polygamy, Montana Tom.
WR Arriola: Timothy, you sound alot like Biguns44. Are you sure you don't know her?
CJ Ellen: How about polyamory? ;)
DHilquist: Polyamory, tell us more Ellen. Is that bigamy over the Net?
RevHansen: Haha, that's a good one CJ. I'll have to tell that one at my cyber mass on Sunday
WR Arriola: That sounds like a sexy chat room, polyamory
CJ Ellen: No, it's not bigamy. It means you can have many friends and lovers.
WR Arriola: Polyamory---could also be a skin cream
DHilquist: I bet the singing in your cyber church gets a little off "key"...he he.
RevHansen: <<sipping wine>>
Timothy918: I know you all find this very amusing, but where is my bride?
WR Arriola : Pass the bottle here, Rev.
DHilquist: Well, I wonder if anyone knows why Tina left?
Timothy918: <<pulling hair>>
DHilquist: Dr. Mix, did you have something to do with this?
Timothy918: Did she leave or was she booted?
RevHansen: Sure Tom, here <<hands cup>>
WR Arriola: I think this wedding is a bust. Probably some secret of Tim's.
CJ Ellen: Maybe it was Tim's tattoos.
RevHansen: She e-mailed me...
Timothy918: No, i have no secrets.
DHilquist: <to Tim> We'll get to the bottom of this. What does it say, Rev.?
WR Arriola: Tim, are you sure you don't know Biguns44?
Timothy918: <to DH> I hope so.
RevHansen: Something about...
DHilquist: <biting nails>
WR Arriola: She was always in the room you met Tina in.
RevHansen: People lying on the net...
Timothy918: I recognize the name from the chatroom. Why? What about it?
WR Arriola: I checked your profile.
DHilquist: What!
WR Arriola: It's the same as hers.
DHilquist: <stepping back>
WR Arriola: Likes cars and fast boats.
DHilquist: What!
RevHansen: Lying about who they really are.
WR Arriola: Who are you?
DHilquist: Oh, Tim . Say it ain't so.
WR Arriola: <<<<<<<Speak the truth>>>>>>
RevHansen : What Are You Saying, Thomas?
DHilquist: Timothy918, who are you? He is a Doubting Thomas.
WR Arriola: Can anyone in this room give any reason why Tim/Tina
should not be joined?
Timothy918: <<panicked>> I am Tim!! Are you all calling me a liar?!
WR Arriola: <<<are you Tim or a liar>>>>
DHilquist: Does anyone know what happened? Please tell us.
WR Arriola: LIAR
DHilquist: We need to fill in this missing link
Timothy918: Are you saying i am a woman, Montana Tom?
WR Arriola: You are Biguns44. I know you.
DHilquist: You're a woman, Tim?
WR Arriola: I have a picture of you
RevHansen: God does not like people to lie, Timothy.
